Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Life and Death

How strong is your faith? Do you truly have faith in all the attributes of God? I was challenged with these questions on the last day of our Medford tournament. When the news arrived that Jodi had lost her baby, I was crushed. I knew how much the Kruses wanted that child. They had nearly given up on the hope of ever having another baby, but God had blessed them and she became pregnant. But then God took that child away, three weeks before it was about to enter the world.

I was angry. Why had God done this to them? What was His plan? Could I even believe that this was His plan? I was deeply challenged, and mad. Then when I got into my apologetics round, and saw that I had to talk on the grace of God, it came to me, as like a voice in my head. God said "can you trust in Me, even when your emotions tell you not too?" God wanted to see how much I believed in His grace. Yeah, sure, I was able to study it and talk about it, but did I truly trust in it? Could I talk about even when I was being challenged in it?

It was then that I realized that God's grace was clearly seen in it all. God had given them this child. He had allowed them to build a relationship with this child for eight months. All of this was God's grace towards the Kruse family. While I talked about it in my round, there was this voice in my head that kept saying "praise Me for the child, it was by My grace that they spent eight months with it in the womb, praise Me."

God took this little child, this child that no one had yet seen, and built all of our faiths up through it. God wanted to see how much we really believed what we were saying. Right then and there I finally came to realize the full meaning of His grace, sovereignty and holiness, like I never had before.

Now we all thank God for what He did through this little child. Our tournament took on a different aspect based on the work God did through this child. Jodi's prayer had always been that her children would further the kingdom of God, and even this child, that would never live to see this world, changed the lives of so many people. We became a closer body of Christ. We had each other to cry with, and to pray for, and I thank God for that!

Even in the death of this beloved child, we saw a new aspect of life!



As I was writing this post this song came up-

Blessed be Your Name
Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll
turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say


Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

VERSE 2:
Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name


You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
-Kaila Anderson-
January 26 2009

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